Topics for palatable mansplaining:
1. Why intellectuals mock Thomas Aquinas
2. The release year of a song I’ve never heard
3. The exact rate at which whiskey consumed intensifies rhetorical complexity
4. What language Lolita was written in
5. Textbook Orientalism
6. The meaning and proper usage of perfunctory
7. Making me believe in similes again
You know, of course, how to define postmodernism in a single smirking breath.
Armed to the teeth with thoughts and theory, give your opinion readily. Reel off words and periods fights and flights of fancy tongues, trials, tracks and single lines of lyric.
Spin me your list of names, places, speak deathdates to me like so many drops into your lake of musings. Spin me stupid, stuttering excuses without conviction, anxious hours after for my ignorance.
I want you to write me a comprehensive list of the sounds a tree limb makes when it splits and falls.
Do you know how much pressure to put on the ground not to rustle the leaves? How fast is too fast to toe only the moss, until you hear birds exchange pleasantries while you walk? What is the rational interpretation for 00:13:35-00:15:09 of Joanna Newsom's Only Skin?
Tell me about my relative reality, since you thought about it once. Tell me what post- running fingertips through pollen-coated river water belongs to, theorise about the feel of salty stone under palm and sole.
Things I keep to myself:
1. The mutinous thrill of a low neckline
2. Sun on wool
3. I know
4. The number of people who have seen me without clothes on
5. That reminds me of this time on Buffy...
6. I know
7. How hard I try to be able to enjoy getting lost in old cities at night
8. I’ve always wanted a derringer
9. I know
10. Do you?
11. Most of the words to Blink 182’s Take Off Your Pants and Jacket